Into the Amazon
by sheBONES
Summary: A crazy hopefully funny BB anthropology expedition! Tons of fluff as Booth and Brennan discover the Amazon and maybe their own feelings....BE PREPARED TO REVIEW! Will probably end up an M haha. Ch3 is up kiddies
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Give me a break.

A/N: Ok so this is my newest baby. Don't know what people will think of it, hopefully I won't receive enough flames to heat my house (not that I need to, as Florida is climactically comparable to hell). Anyway all names, places, practices, etc that seem made up probably are. There is no Alqueehawlic tribe, unless you count the band of vagrants I call my friends. But I am an Anthropology major, so I'm not a _hundred_ percent shooting in the dark. Well bribery never lets me down, so let me put it in algebraic form: **ReviewsXUpdatesY! **And to think, I failed Algebra twice. Hey I failed algebra squared!

Having an especially shitty Monday, Seeley Booth was somewhat irritated when he looked up from his overdone burger and fries to see his partner grinning to herself.

"Whatcha smiling for Bones? You picturing me naked or something, cuz today has kinda sucked as far as I can tell."

Brennan cheerfully stabbed some lettuce with her fork and tried to smother her smile for the sake of Booth's stank mood. She shrugged a shoulder.

"Nothing. Definitely _not_ you naked. I was just thinking."

Popping a fry in his mouth, Booth pressed, "What about?"

Brennan was acutely aware she wasn't any good at evasion, especially from Booth, so she plainly admitted,

"I don't want to tell you, you'll get mad."

"No I won't" He responded automatically. He paused, intrigued. "Come on, I'll give you a fry…"

"I'll _take_ your fries" Brennan murmured under her breath. She met his patient gaze and sighed heavily, looking back down.

"You're not going to like this, but I'm leaving for South America on Friday." Her eyes remained fused to the worn linoleum tabletop, but she saw Booth's penetrating stare in her mind with perfect clarity.

"How long will you be gone?" Booth asked in a slightly choked voice, his chiseled face blank and still.

She looked up at him guiltily, her blue eyes arresting the federal agents'.

"Ten days. Now give me fry."

Booth released a breath that seemed to have frozen in his lungs for a few seconds. Brennan reached for his plate, but Booth quickly slapped her hand away. Brennan crossed her arms petulantly.

"I knew you'd be mad."

Booth sighed and slid his plate in front of her, offering it apologetically.

"Bones I'm not mad, just bummed out. I mean, you're my partner in crime fighting. And you nearly gave me heart attack! For a second I thought you were going to be gone for…a while." Booth paused, his eyes drifting to his hand as it traced random patterns on the table. Looking back up at Brennan, he continued, "So why South America? Can't you stay less than ten days?"

Brennan shook her head as she accepted a peace fry.

"When I was twenty four, I went to Brazil to study an indigenous Amazonian culture for my grad work. I stayed with the Alqueehawlics for four months and was adopted by an Alqueehawlic family. I'm going back to visit my relatives and observe the marriage festival, which lasts ten days."

Booth's heart warmed hearing Brennan talk about her "relatives". And also at the breathtaking smile that snuck onto her face as she spoke.

"No wonder you're smiling. You excited Bones? Gonna go play with your little tribe and leave me to do all the real work huh?" The grin on his face washed the sting from his words.

Brennan's eyes brightened, if that were possible, and she started rambling.

"Booth, it's going to be so great. There's going to be a communal feast, a huge hunting expedition, and religious rituals and dancing and probably a dozen weddings. I can't wait to see Lush and Boozur and Rumm and Wissquee… I wonder if they're married yet…"

Booth had been okay up until she mentioned the dancing and the rituals and all the various unmarried "he"s she knew. Now, all he could think of was a mob of bare-chested natives jumping around a fire and doing who-knows-what to Brennan. Instantly a plan developed in his hopefully overactive imagination. Nervously playing with his napkin, Booth casually began,

"You know, I've never been to Brazil. I bet it's gorgeous."

Through a mouthful of salad, Brennan raved,

"Booth oh my God! The jungle and the river, everything is completely untouched. 

The Brazilian portion of the Amazon is one of the most remote, pristine locations on Earth. It's absolutely amazing. And of course my brothers and sisters and I know all the best spots."

Her eyes were shining like brilliant sapphires. Booth was doubtful the Amazon River had anything on her.

"I can't wait to get there" Brennan almost sighed.

Booth studied her carefully.

"I'd _love_ to see it. And I bet those Alchamacallits-"

"_Alqueehawlics._"

"-are really cool. Do you speak the language?"

Brennan drew her brows together in suspicion. 'He should not be this interested.'

"Yes. Their language is called Was-ted. It's actually very simple."

Booth rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure" he murmured. "Anyway that's awesome Bones. I'm happy for you. I'm soooo jealous." He watched her expectantly. "I'd reeeally love to go."

Brennan continued eating her salad, nodding periodically, wearing a lazy smile. Booth tapped his fingers on the table, twitching with impatience.

"Damn it Bones, take me with you!"

Brennan's eyes popped open wide and met Booth's equally shocked face.

'Woops, wasn't supposed to come out like that.'

Booth quickly reached out and grabbed Brennan's hand.

"Please, can I come? Please?"

His melted chocolate eyes were fixed on her, using intense eye contact to throw her off balance and push things in his favor. When he really needed to get through to her, Booth could always draw on the raw connection they had.

Her eyes darted rapidly from Booth's hand to his desperate face and back. She felt her argument caving before she even opened her mouth.

"Booth I-" she stuttered. "You can't leave work. You'd be miserable, what would you do for ten days in the rain forest?"

Patting her hand gently, Booth gave her the absolute best of his charm smiles.

"Vacation days, no I won't, and help you of course."

--

A/N: A million thank yous to everyone who actually read this whole thing- PLEEEEEASE review and let me know what you think! Should I keep going or is this a bit too ridiculous for everone's general tastes?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well due to the ass load of AMAZING reviews, my muse has been burning the midnight oil. Here's chapter two, and keep the reviews flowing- I wouldn't want my muse to get discouraged and start holding out on me;) Special props to Aching Bones for her kick ass reviews and kick ass pen name!! K here we go...

Everything had been settled by Thursday. Booth had gotten paid leave, a plane ticket, travel supplies and a copy of Brennan's thesis on the Alqueehawlics in record time. He persuaded Brennan with less trouble than he'd expected, swearing profusely to keep his mouth shut and carry stuff and make sure she had a "good time". She'd left that one alone.

Brennan had invited Booth to her place to show him some pictures of the Alqueehawlics, which led to take out and ice cream, and soon she was explaining every aspect of the expedition to Booth, who listened intently, or maybe just stared at her intently.

"They sure don't wear much, do they Bones?" Booth asked, shuffling the stack of photos, less and less happy with each one.

"That's a relative statement Booth, and they're covered. Women wear tops made of beads and wood and skirts made of tree fibers. Men wear-"

"Grass thongs. Thanks, I got that. Hey…who's this guy with a spear and his hand on your stomach?"

For a split second, Brennan looked uncomfortable.

"That's Wissquee. He's the one that's going to pick us up at the airstrip and take us to the village. I taught him some English when I was there, you'll like him."

'Doubt it' Booth's mind snapped. 'I hate him already. Damn he's in good shape. Yeah well, I'd look way better if I ate roots and ran around in a man thong all day.'

"But why does he have his hand on your stomach?"

"Um," Brennan coughed and tucked a wave of hair back. "It's a way of showing…affection."

Booth's eyes narrowed into brown slits.

"I'm sorry, did you just say _affection_? You mean like 'my friend the anthropologist' affection, right?" Anger and jealousy ripped through his gut.

Brennan tried to temper Booth's inexplicable agitation with a flippant tone as she explained,

"A hand on a woman's abdomen signifies that a man…finds said woman suitable for marriage and reproduction."

Booth's eyebrows shot to his forehead. Keeping an iron grip on his anger, he inquired tightly "So he's basically saying 'marry me and have my children' then."

Brennan reluctantly took the photo and studied it.

"Uh, yeah, I'd say that's a fair interpretation. And you see how he's holding his spear? He's showing his ability to provide for his mate."

Booth's iron control shattered. "You mean _you_?!"

"No!" Brennan looked shocked. "We did not _mate_. We didn't get married. All the marriages in the tribe take place during the annual ten day harvest." She answered in a 'so obvious' tone.

"So you two have just been engaged for a while and you're gonna tie the knot when we get there?!"

"No Booth, God! You don't understand, it's a totally different culture. He was just paying me a compliment. And besides, I'm sure he has a wife by now. He was very good looking, even by our standards, so relax."

Not at all relaxed, Booth retorted,

"Oh good to know. I'm just glad I'm coming with you so the Warrior King can't throw you over his shoulder and take you to his hut."

Brennan shoved a finger in his face. "Booth, don't assume that because these people are isolated they are uncivilized. They actually take sex and marriage very seriously. On their wedding day, a couple spends the day making promises to each other and exchanging gifts, then at sunset, they take their final vows and dance with the rest of the tribe."

Booth looked at her.

"That's it? No promises to God, no rings, nothing?"

Brennan shook her head.

"The Alqueehawlics believe in spirits. They view marriage as two people becoming one spirit. They don't exchange rings, the idea is they share their souls."

Booth sat quietly, thoughtful.

"Hmm, I like that."

A/N: Short and sweet for now, the next chap is half done already. Everyone let me know as soon as it starts to suck so I can fix it!! xoxoxStephanie


	3. Chapter 3

Friday morning at five am sharp, Booth was at Brennan's door knocking insistently. He was rocking on his heels in excitement and muttering,

"Come on, come on, come on…Bones? Hell-ooooo."

After another ten seconds, the door swung open. Brennan stood in rolled down boxers and a clingy wife beater, her eyes smoky and hazy from sleep and confusion.

"Booth? What the hell are you doing here, It's five am."

Booth looked his very curvy and obviously braless partner from her long, slender legs to the unruly waves on her head. Finally catching Brennan's distinctly unamused stare, Booth gave his head a quick shake, hoped he hadn't looked like a gaping fish, and flashed a bright smile.

"What, are you kidding? I've been up since 2:30, I'm so freakin excited!"

Brennan just looked at him in disbelief for a second, then just quirked a smile and turned, leaving Booth in the open doorway. He followed her in, after an extended study of her rear as it moved in her sleeping shorts.

'It's gonna be an interesting trip.' Booth couldn't wait.

--

The flight to Brasilia was uneventful, except that a drowsy Brennan actually blinked up at Booth for a few seconds before falling soundly asleep on his shoulder. He considered this huge, aware that she had actually looked into his eyes and felt comfortable enough to lean on him. He spent several hours wearing a brilliant smile, oblivious to the wailing infant behind him and the stale cabin air.

Upon arrival, Booth was more than a little reluctant to wake Brennan. With no choice, he sighed and lightly stroked her smooth cheek with his fingertips.

"Bones? Sorry but we gotta switch planes."

When Brennan stirred and snuggled closer to him, Booth briefly entertained the thought of simply not moving, but knew he had to try again.

"Hey, my shoulder's yours as long as you want it but we gotta get up first."

Brennan moaned petulantly, opening her crystal blue eyes and squinting against the light. Looking to Booth, she smirked.

"I'm sure that was annoying but you owe me for waking me up so early."

Booth stepped back to let Brennan into the aisle first, unable to resist commenting,

"Man I should wake you up early more often."

When Brennan turned to face him, her eyebrow raised, she was met with the most rogueish charm smile Booth had ever offered. Powerless to resist his formidable charm, she just chuckled and led him toward the exit of the plane.

As Booth waited at Brennan's side for their baggage, it became abundantly clear that Brennan's stunning appearance stood out even more against the typical dark hair and eyes of Brazil. As dozens of men gawked at Brennan, Booth inched closer to her, his chiseled face darkening with rage. When Brennan spotted her overstuffed backpack and bent to pick it up, a young Brazilian with thick black curls inspected her butt and moved to help her with the heavy bag. Booth beat him to it and met his leering grin with a frown of warning. The guy took the hint and stepped back, leaving Booth to snatch his own backpack. He hustled Brennan to their connection, two bags over one shoulder and his hand resting on Brennan's lower back. He ignored Brennan's indignant demands for her bag, busily spitting death glares at practically everyone.

The two and a half hour flight into the heart of the Brazilian rain forest went by in a flash as Brennan sat hypnotized on the edge of her seat, the lush scenery racing by below. Booth sat back with an easy grin, hypnotized by Brennan's enthralled features. As the plane skipped to a stop on the dirt runway, Booth and Brennan quickly gathered their bags and stepped off the miniscule aircraft. They were welcomed with a palpable heat that slapped them both in the face and left them gasping. Booth immediately set down his backpack and stripped off his shirt, revealing a white undershirt that already clung to his sweating skin. He tucked the shirt into his bag and turned back to Brennan, who stared at him with obvious interest.

"What do they call these things?" Brennan questioned, tugging lightly at the hem of his tank top.

"What? Wifebeaters?" Booth was grinning in amusement, watching her watch him.

Brennan nodded slowly, almost drugged by her fascination with Booth's physique. Booth swelled with pride at Brennan's totally unexpected reaction and couldn't resist playing with her just a little. Booth drew a deep breath and expanded his broad chest, stretching the thin white material, relishing in Brennan's tiny gasp and wide eyes. Then she seemed to snap out of it and her eyes darted past him.

"There's Wissquee. You ready to go to the village Booth?"

She offered him a challenging smile before heading down the runway towards the dense jungle. Booth wheeled around to look for this Wissquee guy and scanned the foliage for a few seconds before spotting movement. A tall, well muscled man stepped out of the forest and paced directly toward Brennan, his handsome face beaming. Booth hurried behind Brennan and reached her just as she released Wissquee from a hug. Now Wissquee stood perfectly erect, his smile absent, inspecting Booth coolly with eyes like obsidian. Booth straightened his posture but already stood four or five inches taller. He resolutely kept from lowering his eyes, ignoring Wissquee's barely covered body.

"I am Wissquee. Hello." Wissquee's voice and face held no emotion as he pronounced words that were obviously foreign to him.

"Seeley Booth, nice to meet you."

Booth offered a tight smile and extended his hand. Wissquee's eyes narrowed and his hand moved toward Brennan's abdomen. In an instant, Booth had caught the hand in an iron grip, a mock handshake that Brennan eyed apprehensively. They stared malevolently at each other for a moment before Brennan spoke a few stern words in Wissquee's language. Wissquee gave Booth's hand a brief shake and motioned for the pair to follow. When Booth and Brennan fell into step a few feet behind Wissquee's path through the jungle, Booth murmured,

"What did you say to him?"

"I asked him not to disrespect my partner."

Booth slowed his steps for a second so Brennan came up right beside him. He met her honest azure gaze with a surprised smile. Maybe a little physical display of his own was in order….He slung an already sweat-sheened arm around her shoulders and squeezed her affectionately.

"Just when I thought I couldn't love you anymore" he said enthusiastically, rocking her shoulders a little as they trekked through the forest.

Brennan snapped her head around, her brilliant eyes round with shock. Then was instantly melted by his sweet charm smile.

'It's gonna be an interesting trip' Brennan thought to herself, her heart fluttering inexplicably.

--

A/N: I know you're wondering 'hmmm, should I review...?" Well OF COURSE you should! Believe it or not, I actually put some work into this crap haha. Come on, it takes two seconds:)


End file.
